[(561): Every time I there’s a break up, I’m left with an animal. That’s it. No more mutual pets.]

[(402): I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.]

[(845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party]

Suggested by anonymous.

[(510): you hand the children out the window. i’ll pour the drinks.]

[(219): I’ve learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal]

[(310): we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.]

[(954): thank god dogs can’t talk. they see way to much.]

[(931): Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety]